The "E" Word?

Student: "Teacher!  Teacher! Stan just said the "E" word."
Me:  "D"?
Student:  "NO! E!"  Writes an e on a piece of paper and looks at me like I am a total idiot.

- - - - - - - - -

Any ideas what the "E" word might be?  l called the student over and he admitted he said something he shouldn't have and he knows that the "E" word is real bad.  He promised not to say it again, so I guess that's good!

Oh 3rd grade!

Okay, this one is a little gross.....

In a fourth grade classroom some kids were having some interesting conversations as they were working on finishing a project just before Christmas.  I walked by one of the groups and they asked for my expertise.

Student:  "Ms. D, if you hold in your fart, does it come out as a burp?" 
Me:       "I don't think that's how it works."
Student:    "I think so!  And if it's true, does the burp have poop particles in it?"
Me:        (Trying really hard not to completely crack up because they were super serious.)  "Guys I don't think there are poop particles in your burps."
Student:    "Are you sure because sometimes my burps taste like poop."

 

 

Middle School Math

Yesterday I taught Middle School Math.  7 periods of 7th graders!  Thank goodness they were all working on a project and I didn't have to have their attendtion for more than taking roll and quick directions. 

One student was done with his project and refused to sit down so I made him sweep the classroom.  Which looked like a tornado had hit it, by the way.  He was doing a half ....  hearted job at it, and one student said,

• "You are a terrible Broomer!  You have no future in the brooming industry!" 

I didn't realize there was an industry just for brooming.  I guess you learn something everyday!

I HAVE heard there is no future in hoe-ing.

"I'm the bestest substitute ever! ... or not ... ...

I went into a classroom the other day and I wasn't there for five minutes when a sweet little girl walked up to me and said.  "You are the bestest substitute ever!"  I smiled a big smile and told her "Thank you sweetheart.  That was a really nice thing to say."  A little boy standing next to her said, "You say that to all of the substitutes!"  She turned around and said, "I just want to raise their self confidence!"

"You are the bestest substitute ever!"

 

Funny Things Kids Say

"Everyone knows Girls are Custodians and Boys are Janitors."   Said by a student when the female custodian was asked what her job is. 

Custodian

So now we know the difference!  ;-)

Overheard at the Fair

"Elephant Ears, ewwwwwww!  Why would you want to eat those?  Elephants are so cute.  Why don't people just leave their ears alone?"

I love the way kids think!

Awwwww!

From a 5th grader last week.

Best Quote of the Day

From a first grader, "You are the best teacher I have had in ALL my years!"

Math is Hard!

People really gave Barbie a hard time when she said, "Math is hard!"  All the poor girl was trying to do was admit that she had a few faults.  The thing is, she was right!

Recently, I subbed for a math teacher at a middle school.  He left me a work sheet to go over with the students and asked me to put some examples on the board.  Um....uh....did I mention that I am an elementary teacher?  I looked at all of the letters, numbers and symbols on that sheet and I began to sweat!  Thankfully, when I went to turn on the camera and projector, he had left a sheet with the examples. 

Some students had a few questions, and I directed them to try and figure it out with another student who was having the same problem.  Thankfully that worked! 

Plus, it's Junior High, so.....

Quote from a seventh grade boy, "Hey substitute lady!  Do you think my tractor's sexy?" 

Ugh!  It was quite a day.

I brought a copy of the math worksheet home with me to see if I could do it, and check the answers on line.  I've been avoiding my homework for quite some time now!